Five Lovers of Wolverine
by walutahanga
Summary: A series of drabbles about people that Logan have, or could have, loved. Set post x3.
1. Chapter 1

**Mirror**

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**Disclaimer: **I don't own x-men – if I did there'd be more than just homoerotic tension between Cyclops and Wolverine…

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**Author's Notes: **These will probably be the only notes you see. I just wanted to explain the idea behind this. My plan is for this to be part of a series of five kind of drabble-y things. Each one will be about someone that Logan has loved, or could have loved, and what they meant to him. First up – Jean.

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Sometimes he remembers Jean.

He remembers her graceful neck, and her hair flaming red like passion untapped. She was the one he wanted but could never have.

Alive, she eluded him. Dead she continues to do so. She remains forever just out of reach, as near and untouchable as his reflection in the mirror.

Jean and the Phoenix.

Logan and the Wolverine.

Even their reflections reflect one another.

His darkness is hers; the darkness of the untamed, the simmering rage against those who had wronged them, the raw, unstoppable fury. Only she could have understood him; completed him; made him whole.

He got close to that mirror, so close that his breath fogged the glass, but it only served to obscure her image further.


	2. Chapter 2

**Balance**

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**Disclaimer: **In case you didn't hear the first time, they're not mine. I just like to borrow them.

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Sometimes he remembers Scott.

Scott who was shattered with the mirror, but not quite broken. Not then.

He and Logan would snark at one another, trading insults like bickering children. Storm would roll her eyes, and the students would watch in breathless anticipation for a fight, but none of them really got it.

Theirs was the tension that lay in a ship's ropes. The energy that flowed between them was as necessary as air. Logan pulled one way, and Scott pulled another and between them they held up the world. Scott was the yin to Logan's yang, and so everything remained in balance.

Then one night, Scott came to Logan's room. He'd been drinking, and the energy buzzed between them, jumped between their skins like static electricity. This was new, but it was exactly the same.

In the morning, Scott pulled his clothes on. His lips were tight, his eyes hidden behind red glass. Logan made some snide comment about being late for class. He did it on purpose, waiting for Scott to pick up the slack and the energy to snap taught between them once again.

It didn't come. Scott muttered something and left.

It took Logan a moment to realize the sails had collapsed in on themselves, their vast dimensions folding like so many dreams. The balance had tipped, and the world had fallen.

A few days later, Scott left for Alkali Lake. Logan never saw him again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Memory**

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**Disclaimer: **X-men isn't mine. I own nothing. So on and so forth…

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He tries to remember Yuriko.

_Yuriko Oyama. _

He didn't even know her name at first. It was Scott of all people who told him, in a flat voice that warned 'don't ask.' Logan doesn't. He has his own nightmares of Alkali Lake to contend with.

That doesn't stop him from pondering that name, from turning it over and over in his mind, as if it were the key that could open the locked door in his mind. Sometimes if he concentrates hard, he can almost remember… something.

A scent, perhaps. A touch. A colour.

These memories never quite surface, sinking almost immediately down into the recesses of his mind.

He'd given up his past, with very little regret. But sometimes he returns to that single name, and wonders exactly what he had given up with it.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Lightening 

**Author**: walutahanga

**Disclaimer**: X-men very definitely isn't mine. For one thing, Storm would have an actual storyline.

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Logan doesn't need to remember Ororo. She is a constant presence.

She makes him do class schedules and always takes the last of the coffee without making a fresh pot. He dumps most of his paperwork onto her and tells the brutal truth about each and every one of her haircuts. If he thinks about it – which he usually doesn't – he'd say she's his closest friend.

Occasionally, he has the urge to reach out and touch her. It comes from out of nowhere, like lightening out of a clear sky. Hell, she's a beautiful woman, and he's only human. Sometimes after a mission, when she is flushed and sweating from exertion, he idly wonders how she'd react if he shoved her up against the lockers and kissed her bruisingly hard.

Hell, she'd probably fry him.

Logan thinks he could have her though, if he wanted. He's good looking (as testified to by countless women) and very persistent when he decides he wants something. The fact that he's an arrogant bastard has yet to work against him. And whilst Storm doesn't appear to be interested, he's sure he could change that, if he wanted to.

If she were a woman in a bar, and he was still wandering between cage-fights in his beat-up trailor, he would have bought her a drink. No pretty words, because Ororo in any incarnation doesn't take any bullshit. They would go back to his trailor, and he would fuck her, and leave the next day, and the only real significance she'd have would be that she was prettier than most.

Sometimes he thinks about touching her. But he never does.

He loves her too much.


End file.
